America only understands a drunk uncle at the head of the proverbial Thanksgiving table.
I’m not being emotional, trust me. I’ve done enough psychology on myself (and briefly with a professional) to understand and accept the world I live in.
My awakening in 2016 was akin to figuring out your parents are just idiot human beings who were once idiot kids the same as you, and never really finished figuring it out.
Because that is not a thing it turns out, finishing figuring it out. Not as humans and not as America.
So what you do is you figure that out, and then you get mad, and then you accept it because humans are humans and there’s still all that other great stuff they did to shape and teach you how to survive to this point.
In 2020 I did the thing all the wily conservative people tell you to do as they support all the things that undermine your humanity (see: J.D. Vance), which is keep them all as friends and really listen to their perspective. What I learned was, they aren’t really called to return the favor.
You see, once you cross the abortion threshold, conservatives more inherently treat this as business and not personal. This isn’t a bad thing, the “empathy party” just has to learn it the hard way, which is how I landed on a post-Election Day in 2024 without a trace of personal crisis.
I get it: America only understands a drunk uncle at the head of the proverbial Thanksgiving table.
Intellectually, we know that Mom is the one who started planning this meal a month ago. We know she managed the time and measurements and inventory for it, while continuing to manage the schedules and bank accounts and email communications of the entire family.
We know the oldest daughter is the one who prepared the individual emotions of every brother and cousin to get them to even show up. (While making five desserts, of course.)
But it’s the Drunk Uncle that our animal instincts put at the top of the order.
You see, I AM the oldest daughter. Which means I read and listened to every perspective from Fox News to the Free Press to the Undecided Movement in this election. My diligence was sure to get an entire grasp on the vibes campaign vs. the “you have to listen to what he does and not what he says” campaign.
“He had good policies and he’s probably not going to do that mass deportation thing,” Ben Shapiro said out loud on one podcast I listened to with great intention.
Every narrative and policy reasoning I saw related to choosing Donald Trump summoned his caricature as a Drunk Uncle.
“I don’t think she’ll be strong enough against our foreign adversaries,” essentially means we need to trust that person to be less of a fixer and more of a shooter.
Batya Ungar-Sargon was on all the shows explaining her working-class research from that book she wrote. Trying to convince me that Trump is funny, he speaks to why they are hurting and that is why he connects.
The fact that Kamala did back flips in high heels, actually studied for the test (debate), had real plans and not just ‘concepts’ of a plan was no matter.
That her background in law enforcement made her far more qualified than a career as a game show host was lost on the majority. The fact that people continued to say she wasn’t doing enough to tell us who she is left those of us who were paying attention at a legitimate loss.
Everything she said mattered. Anything he said? Meh, don’t be so sensitive.
“I can’t put my finger on it…” people would say.
It’s like…she just couldn’t give enough ‘Drunk Uncle,’ you know?
This woman’s reputation of being “a real bear to work for” was no match. (In fact, that probably means she’s a bitch.)
The one commercial clip where far-left activists got her to agree with government-funded transgender surgeries in prison, played on repeat thanks to unlimited campaign funds from Drunk Uncle’s rich buddies, effectively undermined her entire career as a centrist criminal prosecutor.
My drunk uncle would never say that either, don’t worry. Those people would be crystal clear of his position on ‘circus freaks.’
It’s telling, too, that the only person who managed to beat Donald Trump in an election the last eight years happened to be another Drunk Uncle.
Women are mad today, and with reason. I’m reading all the posts and hearing you out like a good oldest daughter is wont to, but I’m not with you in crisis on this one.
This is the “parent” we keep choosing despite having folks in all the good places with all the good credentials. We don’t always choose people because they are smart.
He is the one, because this is who we are.
A Drunk Uncle at the helm may not make intellectual sense, but that’s not what he’s here to do. He is the cowboy that the rest of us arrange ourselves around and make excuses for and “love anyway” because that’s how it’s always been done at this Thanksgiving table. In this America.
I imagine it’s not easy to be that guy either, but that’s a story for another day.
I would like women to take one more beat and then stop feeling so defeated. Keep leading with faith as you did these last three months.
What you saw was true, and it still matters. I still need you to believe, as the Drunk Uncle does, that you breathe fire. 🔥